she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
