so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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