Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
