Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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