I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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