Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
