He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
