If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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