Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
high people should be assigned attendants
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
