Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
