you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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