No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I puked a lego.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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