some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
