pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
