I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
