i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
