a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
