So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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