Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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