I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
