This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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