I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
