so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize