I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
