would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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