No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
