The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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