Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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