Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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