I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just forgot I was standing up.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize