The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
