But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
