Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
