I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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