Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize