Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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