Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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