Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
