Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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