Got a toothbrush?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
