and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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