Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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