What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
