The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
