yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
