So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
