I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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