Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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