He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
