yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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