Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
