Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
