At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
