dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
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Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
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My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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