Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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