i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
everyone is single if you try hard enough
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize