Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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