YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
