mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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