god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
