Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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