remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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