How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
