I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
