then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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