Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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