How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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