dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
literally had 100 drinks last night.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
