Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
not ubering you a puppy
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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