You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
