you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
