Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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