U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
